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Lovetrodden: The Language of Love Undone

Below are snippets from online dating profiles and/or actual correspondences — emails, text messages and social media conversations — with women overseas.

The posts more or less speak for themselves, but the best of them seem to share their own strange internal logic and rhythm. It’s Janglish with a richer context and syntax. We the curators at Lovetrodden put great care into the culling of these exquisite poetic fragments.


“I am a robust. Do not shrink me unless you can.”

“In loving, our animals form a top principal, and there is nothing for me on television.”

“I am already practical. If you kiss me, I will tow you into a starship.”

”I see you at all times. It is the best way for me to get my nails done.”

“I like the clean white look with shapely bloodlines. I mostly do not come around.”

“The love, like a natural lamp, touches me. I plan to have a baby until it is born.”

”I do not see the money, you better believe the boy took off. I got it bad.”

“Please tell me the opinion. I will carry you a hug onion.”

“Gentle and honest make love with your lady. I am ready to operate all my teeth together.”

“I like forest, brook, reading, wonderful music, and movies like cock.”

“Are you the man for kindness and also to ride horses? Mostly I just weep.”

“I wear tires every day. Mine a pretty nice.”

“I love chicken breath.”

“I can’t stop organizing you.”

“I would like business owner age 95-98 years old. Personality good. Good health. Love family, the same Christian as me.  My condition with marry me is 1, check blood, 2, pass festival with me in my church, 3, much money and no gold limited.” 

“I am looking for a sincere. I am worried about health of you and I have to accept everything.”

“If you do not mind to know, I have had three cars talk to each other.”

“Me can’t to you sorry. I have stomach ache. Can you give me transfer? I gave birth to a baby today.”

“I am a sexy girl with my big milk.”

“I am a soft and kindness Chinese lady. Love family. Love myself. I am quiet as a pussy.”

“Thank you for viewing my profile skin. I like to eat.”

“Cordial, carbonated and sweet. Please do not talk much.”

“A simple merry said. To eat better, fractious family love child.”

“Not that anyone would like to be updated: I love that the fisherman awakens in beauty.”

“I am a Chinese girl. After sex then marry. If your feel is boring, I have no interest in you!”

“My dreams are simple and my lungs are full of air. I ask that you are gangly and introspective, with a strong skeleton.”

“I want to bring a smile to your surgery when you wake up.”

“A good man in good spirits, and one child age 4-year-old.  I am done with my husband for a long time, because he was looking for meat.”

“Who likes me should respect my living. If you are a cheat, do not bother me! In the mornings I carry on like a lighthouse.”

“I like people who are with us.  I want to see the world before I was on it.”

“It is mandatory by nature that we be joined in summary, like an invading army. I am a Chinese angel.”

“This is my function: sexual matrimony and first born. I look forward to a money parade.”

“My uncle was married pretty, and unbound. We should have our skin together, non-triangular and freedom from the hospital.”

“A man who loves is beaten senseless in the past.”

“I am a baby. I am a citizen but I don’t. Violent people is selfish, pant on fire! I hate something.”

“Having sex charges, you lose it. I have no travel costs. Are you busy?”

“I want to have the brass plants before I decided to go with a person with Christ. I have a problem.”

“I work Toyota logistics. Request noodles and a pet dog age 89 years. Wow I am busy. I don’t like you.”


Lovetrodden logo design by Patrick Smith


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6 Responses to “Lovetrodden”
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  1. Art Knight says:

    Who knew it could get this good? I must be easy because…when my Marine Uncle showed me “Full Metal Jacket…”

    She had me at “Me so horrrny! Me love you long time!”

  2. Linus says:

    In the mornings I carry on like a lighthouse.

    Coffee in the keyboard. You owe me!

  3. Eirik says:

    Who cares? Still funny as siht ????

  4. Dan Ullman says:

    “I will carry you a hug onion.”

    I want this woman. The “garlic squeeze” relationship ended badly and, after 20 years, I still have issues. I think this may be my opportunity to heal….

  5. Speed says:

    This looks like very bad Natural Language Generation.

    Natural language generation (NLG) is the natural language processing task of generating natural language from a machine representation system such as a knowledge base or a logical form.

  6. Sources or it didn’t happen!